From Hello to Forever

Arek works as a 3D Modeler / Generalist in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. After getting approval from his boss that he could work remotely for a few weeks, Arek came to visit Jonnah in Hawaii. Unbeknownst to Jonnah, Arek was coming with a big gift and a big question!

HOW DID THESE LOVEBIRDS MEET?

Arek and Jonnah found each other on Catholic Match in August 2019. Initially, there was a lot of doubt and hesitation because there were obvious obstacles to any potential for a relationship. Arek felt more comfortable speaking Polish than English (and Jonnah didn't know a single word in Polish at the time), so there was a bit of a language barrier. On top of that, Arek was working in Canada, and Jonnah was finishing school and doing ministry in the United States. So there was a physical barrier as well. But after talking for a month, they were both curious what it would be like to meet in person. So Arek invited Jonnah to Toronto for a weekend. He met her at the airport with flowers, wide eyes, and a nervous smile. Arek had made so many preparations for the weekend, making a long list of restaurants and activities, booking an Airbnb downtown for her to stay in, buying her plane ticket. He invested a lot of time, money, and energy into this uncertain meeting. Though their communication often included Arek saying, "I could say much more if we were speaking in Polish," they both felt a hopeful optimism about their budding friendship and sensed the presence of God in each others' hearts. They attended masses together and prayed. They explored the city and ate at yummy vegan restaurants (because Jonnah is vegan and Arek likes healthy food). They sat by the dock and watched the birds, talking about their life journeys, passions, and desires for the future. On the last evening together of that trip, they watched a screening of Game Changers, and Arek decided he wanted to be vegan. This was an encouragement to Jonnah because she really cares for animals, which is why she hasn't eaten animal products for over 4 years. She felt much more aligned with Arek once he expressed that he wanted to join the vegan path as well. By the time they said goodbye that weekend, they were both grateful to know each other and curious about what the future would hold.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

Jonnah visited Arek one more time before flying back to Hawaii to lead a Raw Christian Living retreat and finish her last semester of her Masters in Ministry. During this visit in Toronto, she stayed for a week with the Missionary Sisters of St. Peter Claver. Jonnah had recently experienced a freaky incident and she didn't feel comfortable staying downtown alone again. Fortunately, the sisters took her in - and Jonnah got to glimpse their vocation, attending masses and meals with the sisters while Arek was at work. That trip was filled with prayer and even more fruitful conversations, especially regarding the vocation of marriage and religious life. And Jonnah was grateful to meet Arek's relatives whom he lives with. By the end of that week, Arek and Jonnah decided to make their dating relationship official, unsure how they would navigate the long-distance with Jonnah in Hawaii, but firmly trusting in the Lord.

AREK'S FIRST TIME IN THE UNITED STATES

Though Jonnah and Arek were enjoying their video calls, it didn't take long for them to want to be in person together again. So Arek decided to come visit Jonnah in Hawaii for the holidays and take a reprieve from the Canadian winter. Arek proved to be a natural jungle man, climbing the Big Island banyan trees with a huge grin on his face. During that trip, they celebrated their first Christmas together, the new year, and Jonnah's 28th birthday. They enjoyed learning about each others' cultures and family traditions (such as the Polish tradition of sharing a wafer with wishes for each other on Christmas Eve). They explored the island together, served vegan food to those in need, attended masses together, and Arek got a tan! They also started the process of combing out Jonnah's dreadlocks, which she'd been wanting to do for awhile.

AREK RETURNS TO HAWAII WITH A RING

A couple weeks after Arek's visit with Jonnah in Hawaii, he bought an engagement ring and booked another flight to come back to Hawaii. Jonnah had started an internship in Youth and Young Adult Ministry with a local church, and she needed to stay on the island until May. So Arek got permission from his boss to be out of the office for a few weeks and work remotely. Jonnah had no idea that this visit would be so tremendously special.

THE PROPOSAL

On February 29, 2020 (Leap Day), Jonnah and Arek decided to go hike at Pololu valley together, a special place where they had previously hiked. Pololu is Jonnah's favorite place on the island, and Arek really wanted to propose there. On the drive to Pololu, they saw 5 beautiful huge rainbows. Soon after beginning their hike, it started raining, but they decided to press on. When they had been to Pololu before, they had wanted to go to the third valley, but because of the weather and foot pain, they only made it to the second valley. This time, Arek wanted to go to the third valley for the proposal because Jonnah had expressed how special it was when she had been there before. However, yet again, they did not make it to the third valley - this time because of the high water level of the river in the second valley. Arek felt bummed because he had planned to propose in the third valley. Instead, they decided to hike to a different part of the second valley that neither of them had previously explored. They found a lovely cove with a wooden bench and sat down for a rest and a snack. That morning, before the trip, they had prayed for safety and for an opportunity to serve God together. While in the cove of the second valley, they noticed a solo hiker and offered him some fruit from their sack. "This is so cool - this is what I prayed for - an opportunity to serve," thought Jonnah. As they visited with the hiker, Jonnah noticed that Arek seemed to want the man to leave, and Jonnah wondered why. Eventually, the man left, and Arek and Jonnah were alone together again. Arek surprised Jonnah, saying that he had something for her. Sometimes previously, he would jokingly give her dirty dishes to wash after saying he had something for her, but this time, Arek pulled a photo album out of his backpack, filled with an artful display of their adventures together. Jonnah felt so cherished and grateful. When she turned to the final page of the scrapbook album, Arek opened a ring box and got down on one knee. He expressed how he valued her and wanted to be together for the rest of his life, glorifying God together.

JONNAH'S REACTION

(I'm writing this part in first person)… To be honest, I was not expecting this proposal so soon in our relationship, and I was shocked and humbled. "WHAT?!" "Really?" "I mean, yes, I want to be with you forever, and I can't imagine anyone else I would rather be with... do you think we are ready for this?" To which Arek responded, "I've prayed about this a lot, and I know what I want. But if you need more time, that's totally fine." Hearing Arek's confidence reassured me and I felt so much peace. Arek is the sweetest man I've ever met, I trust him entirely, and there's no doubt in my mind that God has united us to be on mission together in the world. Arek is truly the answer to many years of prayer, and I am inexpressibly grateful.

PLANS FOR THE FUTURE

We are living in uncertain times in this world. We are planning this wedding amidst the chaos of the coronavirus panic, unsure if people will even be able to travel to our wedding or if everywhere will be on lockdown. Many details are uncertain, but we are committed to each other, come what may. As we write this, Arek is about to fly back to Canada, and Jonnah is staying in Hawaii for awhile, hoping she will be able to move to Canada soon. Our plan is to live in Toronto for about a year as we save money and wait for Arek's green card to process, then we intend to migrate somewhere that we can cultivate community and live sustainably off the land. Jonnah also still needs to complete her mentored ministry component of her degree, so she's pursuing an opportunity as a Chastity Missionary in Toronto. Please pray for God's provision as we trust Him and wait on His perfect timing for all things. God bless you all! And thank you so much for your support in this sacred season as we prepare for marriage.

Love & Boundaries

I find it fitting on this Valentine's Day to be sharing a message of LOVE.

Compassionately choosing to not eat animals is a lifestyle of love.

Things can get tricky in relationships though at times when we discern how to communicate about our vegan lifestyle. What does that mean for mealtime? And what does that mean for our personal boundaries?

The number one thing in establishing these boundaries is to follow our conscience. If you feel strongly that you cannot financially support a restaurant with your patronage which serves animal products, stay true to that. If you feel strongly that you cannot work for a grocery store that sells animal products, stay true to that.

Different seasons of life come with different levels of agency. When I was a child, I ate whatever was fed to me and did not question it. Now, as an adult, I think much more deeply about things, and I have more freedom to make ethical choices for myself. Also, as an adult, I have taken on more leadership roles. With more knowledge and more authority comes more responsibility. I have more responsibility to live according to what has been revealed to me, and I have more responsibility to lead others in the most loving manner.

So, as we vegans navigate how to live compassionately in a world that is quite backwards right now, we need to set up some boundaries.

Personally, I will not eat any animal products or purchase anything that I know has animal body parts on it. And I will not get vaccines or use makeup with animal (or human) ingredients or that has been tested on any animal. I will not financially support zoos or rodeos or circuses or horse races. And I will freely speak my mind about what the Lord has put on my heart. And I plan to raise a family in a house in which no animal products are consumed.

What are the boundaries you feel called to enforce in your life?

In romantic relationships, boundaries are a huge deal. We need to communicate and respect each other's boundaries as a way of honoring each other. If someone cannot respect your boundaries, then they can take a hike! In any healthy, empathetic relationship, for example, if one person wants to kiss, and one person doesn't, you just don't kiss. It's simple. That person doesn't have to be convinced that it's "wrong" to kiss at whatever stage of the relationship you are in. They just need to respect how you feel and support you in following what you feel is best for you right now. And if they can't accept it, then they can leave.

Our churches are kind of like family relationships. It can be very tricky! Especially when you are a low man on the totem pole.

When you were a baby, you probably drank your mom's milk. In that milk, you actually received from the nutrients that your mother was feeding herself. So, in essence, you were fed what your mom ate. And you drank it via her breastmilk, and you didn't have much personal agency to choose otherwise.

Later in life, you decide to go vegan. Then your mom makes a cheesy beefy lasagna, and you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you want to stay true to your convictions, so you communicate your feelings and needs, and you establish some boundaries with your family.

Then, later, you have your own children, and you choose what you will feed them.

Our churches are unique family environments.

The lower you are on the totem pole of the hierarchy of the Church family, you have less personal agency. The Church has a potluck with animal products. You can choose to go or not. If you go, you can choose what you eat. You can bring vegan food.

But what about when you are leading a youth ministry with a weekly dinner? And you know that eating animal products is of questionable-at-best morality, lead to poor health, contributes to world hunger and poverty, are destructive to the planet, and propagate violence? But your pastor disagrees with you and doesn't want you to say any of this to the youth, and actually wants you to serve animal products at events?

***ALERT: YOU HAVE ENTERED A VEGAN DILEMMA***

This is when you are in a vegan dilemma and you need to establish some boundaries.

What if we could all openly express our feelings and needs and empathize with each other?

Even if someone doesn't yet feel the same conviction about eating animal products, if they can empathize with how you feel, they might be willing to understand that you cannot in good conscience buy animal products for events, for example.

If you have a personal boundary (such as not kissing or having sex - or not serving animal products) and someone knows that, and disrespects that by encroaching on your boundary, that's a violation of your personhood.

Stay true to yourself, for the sake of those without a voice. Communicate your boundaries, in love, as a way to honor yourself and God. And if someone cannot respect your boundaries, shake the dust off your feet, dear ones.

And also keep in mind, "what God has brought together, let man not separate." Pursue unity while staying true to yourself. It's all about love.

Jesus quoted from the Old Testament, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."

Keep following the Way.

Jesus Declared All Foods Clean

Jesus summoned the crowd again and said to them, "Hear me, all of you, and understand. Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile."
When he got home away from the crowd his disciples questioned him about the parable. He said to them, "Are even you likewise without understanding? Do you not realize that everything that goes into a person from outside cannot defile, since it enters not the heart but the stomach and passes out into the latrine?"
(Thus he declared all foods clean.)
"But what comes out of the man, that is what defiles him. From within the man, from his heart, come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly. All these evils come from within and they defile."
~Mark 7:14-23

How could this passage make any sense if we are called to have compassion for animals when we make food choices? 

Did Jesus really just declare all foods clean and tell us to eat whatever we want? That's what I used to think this passage meant. But consider this with me... What if Jesus and His posse were vegan?? [Please keep reading...]

Jesus was talking to a bunch of Pharisees who were caught up in rules and lacked love. They were so caught up in all of these extra rules about what animals they could eat and in what manner to kill and process them. And they have the nerve to call Jesus and his followers out for not washing their hands before they ate. The funny thing is, most disease comes from eating animals, so the vegan crew would have been way less likely to get diseases, even if they didn't wash their hands.
[Aside: Did you know, vegan poop is compostable?]

I'm not declaring that Jesus and his gang were necessarily vegan. I'm just saying, consider how this passage could make even more sense if that were the case...

After the powwow with the Pharisees, the disciples are left wondering, "Wait, Jesus, hold up, I thought we didn't eat animals, and now you are saying that what we put in our mouth doesn't matter?"
And Jesus responds, "No, no, my flock of silly geese, of course what we eat matters. What we put on our plate is one of the biggest ethical decisions we make day-to-day. But it's not because of the food. Look... ok, you can put a whole lot of things in your mouth. What you put in your mouth is not intrinsically good or bad.

Hearts are the important consideration. The act of eating meat is not directly immoral. Unnecessary killing is the part I don't like. And supporting the killing by creating a demand for the meat (by buying it and/or eating it), is continuing to propagate death instead of life.

So all of these Pharisees caught up in all of these rules to try to make something that is evil and ugly (killing innocent creatures) into something clean and acceptable by slapping a bunch of rules on it is the wrong route. So don't even think like that. You are better to be free of all the rules, to consider everything to be clean (because I made all the creatures clean and beautiful), and make decisions based on a heart of compassion and mercy. This is so much simpler! All the complicated kosher rules become moot because compassion will lead you to not kill in the first place. Remember the Word from the Garden? It's still what's best for you....I give you every green plant on the face of the whole earth, and every tree that bears fruit with seed in it - these shall be yours for food (Genesis 1:29).

So, yes, our hearts are better off if we avoid eating animals. But not because of a bunch of rules... Just because of Love. P.S. I love you."

Do you think that's what He meant?

A Message from Abe Lincoln to the Church

Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday, so I feel it is especially appropriate to put into words what I've been reflecting on lately in regards to slavery and the role of the Church. I've been doing some research recently to learn about what churches were like during the time of slavery in American history, particularly once it became a more contentious issue and people were taking a stand against it. To be honest, what I've found has been a bit discouraging, but I'll let you know why I think understanding the role of the Church during the time of slavery emancipation is also super important and empowering.

If you mention a president from recent history, it's rare to not have someone in earshot who has icky feelings about them, for whatever reason. However, it's hard to find anyone who has a negative thing to say about Abraham Lincoln. But obviously during his time, there were certainly people who didn't like him... his assassinator John Wilke Booth, for example. Good ole' Abe is known as the president who ended slavery of Africans in the United States.

Ending slavery shook up life for a lot of people. Many people had paid many pretty pennies for their human labor, and freeing them would be a financial burden for the "owners." Also, ending slavery was a tough pill for many to swallow, because it essentially recognized that they had been living immorally by owning slaves.

How did the Church respond?

With slavery emancipation, there were people on both sides of the issue in the churches. This includes people who felt financially dependent on the work of slaves. If the Church took a stand against this evil, it would surely mean creating conflict, losing members, and losing tithes $$$. So, in general, churches remained ambivalent, not addressing the issue, though still offering the Eucharist to slaves who sat in the back of the church. Of course, some priests, pastors, and lay people were active individually along the underground railroad, but the Church in general was unwilling to take a stand.

To take a compassionate stand to free the slaves was contentious. And it required trust in God rather than man, because men were going to get mad about this, and only God could offer safety and meet their needs during the huge cultural change.

I love how on the US currency of the penny, next to Abraham Lincoln's head, it says, "IN GOD WE TRUST."

Abraham Lincoln led this country according to what was morally right, when the Church was unwilling to take a stand. Why? Because he trusted in God. Sure, he was ultimately killed, but I'm sure his treasure is much greater in heaven.

What does this mean for the Church today?

Let's remember to take a hint from Abe, to trust in God! The Church can be empowered to lead this world in compassion towards all of God's creatures - if we are willing to put our trust in God and take a stand.

I don't want to look back on this time of history and see the Church being ambivalent for the sake of $$$ and false peace. Rise up, Church! Eyes are being opened to how unnecessary and cruel animal agriculture is. Let's be on the right side of history this time - let's take a stand! Let's really trust in God! Let's truly be the Church and meet the needs of our brothers and sisters while they transition to more compassionate occupations. Let's love! IN GOD WE TRUST.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." 

- Galatians 1:10

Why all church events everywhere should be VEGAN

Many people debate the morality of a vegan diet according to Scripture and stewardship. However, regardless of if you personally deem the vegan lifestyle to be more compassionate or holy or not, there are many reasons why all of the events at every church in the world should be vegan. 

1. Vegan events create an environment that is the most inclusive. Many ethical vegans would feel troubled by the presence of animal products at events. Also, if people are trying to be healthy, they will probably be avoiding animal products, and the presence of animal products may cause temptation for them.

2. In most cases, animal products are the result of unnecessary suffering and death of innocent creatures. Since this is of questionable morality in the Church today, we would be wisest to err on the side of innocence. 

3. Animal products are known to cause disease (nutritionfacts.org), and we don't want events that promote such chronic illness. We want events that promote healing to the holistic person, body + mind + spirit.

4. Many vegans have left the Church today because they felt a lack of compassion towards animals. If we offer vegan events, even if the leaders and participants are not vegan themselves, we can show empathy towards those who have left the church and offer them a "welcome back home."

5. Particularly among young adults, there is a growing population of vegans and vegetarians, so having vegan events would be most welcoming and inclusive for them. If you want a group that grows and that no one will feel excluded, vegan events are the best option. Especially if you want to be open to seekers from other traditional backgrounds, such as Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim - vegan food is the common denominator. Many Hindus feel particularly uncomfortable around dead animals (because of beliefs regarding reincarnation). Most Jews only eat animal products that are kosher. Muslims only eat meat that has been sacrificed in a halal manner. But everyone eats plants :)

6. All of your events can essentially be the same as they would have been - minus the animal suffering! There are vegan versions of every food. If someone just HAS to flip something on a grill, there are vegan hotdogs and hamburgers, etc. So, you can still have all of the events you would have had, as far as the food is concerned. However, if you want events that are open to vegan-minded people, be aware that they probably won't want to go hunting, fishing, or to zoos, rodeos, circuses, etc.

7. Church events can create an environment that is reminiscent of Eden, bringing life, not death, and reminding people of what life was like before sin.

8. Everyone can feel reassured in a vegan environment, vegans and nonvegans alike, because they can know that they have made an environment that welcomes the stranger. 

9. Just how drinking alcohol is not a "sin" but it is arguably unwise as an attribute of church events, so too eating animal products - though currently permissible under canon law (though, I would argue, only if necessary) - is not beneficial for offering the most inclusive environment. However, events without animal products (or alcohol) are the most inclusive.

Some references to keep in mind:

CCC 2418 “It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly."

1 Cor. 8:12-13:

By sinning against your brothers in this way and wounding their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to stumble.