My Journey to the Catholic Church

If you would have asked me two years ago if I would ever be Catholic, if I were being frank with you, I would have said, “Never in a million years would I join such a nonsensical cult. In fact, I feel sorry for people trapped in such outdated, idolatrous religiosity.” That might sound harsh, but that’s what I honestly thought about the ritual-laden, traditionalistic, patriarchal Roman Catholic Church. Only after acknowledging my resolutely anti-Catholic perspective from two years ago could you begin to fathom the immense miracle that was necessary for me to join their ranks. That miracle is what I will be describing in this reflection. Some miracles occur in a moment, but many – as in this case – are a journey over a period time. 

Methodist Roots

I grew up in the United Methodist Church and have had a relationship with God as far back as I can remember. In May of 2001, at the ripe age of 9, I chose to be Baptized, drawing a line in the sand to firmly declare that my Christian faith was my own. My Baptism was a profound spiritual experience for me, and I fondly cherish that memory.

Over the years of participation in the Methodist Church, my knowledge and love of God grew. During middle school and high school, I was an active member of a thriving youth group, and I attended several retreats and mission trips that especially cultivated my spiritual growth. In high school, I began a daily discipline of spending time with the Lord and reading Scripture. By the time I got to college, my faith had taken deep roots, which grew even deeper as I sought out mentorship, attended chapel services, and pursued a minor in the Bible. A few years later, I chose to attend a Methodist seminary in preparation for international church planting. My heart was thoroughly Christian, and I was grateful for the Methodist tradition. 

Enter, Online Dating

Once I had been accepted at the seminary and had plans to quit my corporate job in Indiana, I thought it might be a timely endeavor to open more doors to romantic possibilities, since I intended to enter the mission field in a couple years and thought it might be God’s plan for me to marry before embarking on that journey. So I got on a dating app, looking for fine, Christian men. And of course I found one who lived a mere 7 hours away from me. But I nearly didn’t respond to any of his messages - not because of the distance but because the religious preference on his profile blared a giant red flag in my mind: “Catholic.” I conceded to talking with him because his faith seemed quite sincere. He took his faith so seriously that he had actually spent a year discerning with Franciscan Friars (translation for non-Catholics: he spent a year sleeping on a wooden floor, praying 4 hours per day, begging barefoot for food, trying to decide if he would like to live the rest of his life like that, in celibate service to Jesus Christ). After a couple weeks, I knew that our different beliefs would be a huge hurdle. I was convinced that I needed to convert him to Protestantism or else our relationship would never work out. As we talked more, we determined that it wouldn’t make sense for God to lead us to conflicting understandings of truth because Truth is from God. And He is not characterized by confusion. So we reasoned that if we were both humbly seeking after God, He would lead us to the same Truth. I had so much respect for his reverence for the Lord and his prayerfulness, but Catholicism still didn’t click for me. Though, admittedly, it was starting to make more and more sense in ways that quite humbled me as I researched it and prayed about it. The moments that the Catholic research made sense were intensely emotional and humbling, as it required me to undergo a thorough deconstruction of my faith. This Catholic man and I talked long distance for a month or so, and even met up once, ultimately deciding to just be friends. After we went our separate ways, I was left with a huge identity crisis and a lot of unanswered questions about Catholicism. Despite my confusion and doubts, I was so thankful for God's presence with me on the journey.

Catholic School Girls

That brief relationship was not my first tango with Catholicism. In fact, despite being raised in a Protestant household, I had attended a Catholic high school (because my mom was a math teacher there). I took the religion classes, attended the masses, and even tried out Confession once to see what it was like. However, all of the “Catholic stuff” seemed unnecessary to me. Why complicate the gospel? Why cause division from Protestants by refusing them Communion? Why confess to a priest when you can go directly to God? And why give so much authority to the Pope when we are an equal “priesthood of all believers”? I developed a lot of arguments against the Catholic Church during my time there. And one of the biggest turnoffs for me regarding Catholicism was the apparent superficiality of several of the Catholics around me. If that’s what Catholicism looks like, I reasoned, I was better off elsewhere.

Sola Scriptura

I chose to attend a Baptist-affiliated university for my undergrad, as it was a nearby Bible-centric school with a highly ranked engineering program. They taught a version of Sola Scriptura (“Scripture alone”) that limited women from teaching men from the Bible or preaching. Since my beloved pastor from the Methodist church of my youth was a woman, I took offense at this. “How dare they interpret Scripture in a way that bars women from the pulpit?” From their perspective, however, they would say, “How dare a woman disobey the Word of God by preaching?” But I believed (and still do) that my pastor was called by God to preach. I am so grateful for female preachers and teachers in the church, and I affirm their calling and spiritual giftings. So, the Baptist stance against female preachers was something that consistently irked me. It especially bothered me that sacred Scripture was quoted to support such a position, despite the tradition of female leadership and preaching in the early church that is documented in the New Testament. (I wrote a whole speech on this for a class my freshman year if you would like to hear more.) Looking back, it is ironic to me how various mainline denominations cite the Protestant tenant “Sola Scriptura” to defend contrasting interpretations on this topic of female leadership.

Patriarchy

Because of my strong stance supporting women in ministry, I had significant walls up against the Catholic Church due to this issue as well, since women are not allowed to be ordained as Catholic priests. 

However, when I learned why Catholics only ordain men, I found it was not for the same reasons as Baptists. For Catholics, it has more to do with tradition of the sacrament of holy orders, the maleness of Jesus and the 12 apostles, and the beliefs about role of the priest.

Catholics, unlike Baptists, acknowledge that there are women who are gifted leaders and preachers, and they encourage them in pursuing avenues that utilize those giftings for the benefit of the Church and the world. If you have never heard Sister Miriam James (Twitter: @onegroovynun), get on it! You will be blessed. In fact, there is an entire order – the Dominicans – which focus on teaching and preaching - comprised of men and women, ordained as well as laity, designed to organize people to train and exercise such spiritual gifts. 

When I reflected on the vast differences between men and women, it made sense that God made us for different roles. However, we are equals, and these roles are harmonious. And I believe God desires for us to be free to cultivate all of our spiritual giftings within the Church – for His glory! The Catholic Church is a beautiful home to exercise these gifts.

Women naturally crave the safety and freedom that comes from the protection and leadership of a loving, trustworthy man. That’s why it makes sense that Paul says that men are the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church (Eph. 5:23). The marriage relationship is an example of the spiritual relationship between Christ and the Church. Male priesthood makes sense with this understanding as well. Submission – in the context of a loving, trusting man who is designed to lead – brings harmony and promotes freedom to exercise spiritual giftings under the protection of the male headship.

The teachings of the Catholic Church have brought harmony on the issue of gender roles, in my mind. If you are interested in reading more about the role of women in the Catholic Church, I recommend reading “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women: Mulieris Dignitatem,” by Pope John Paul II.

Mission-Driven

I have felt called to be a missionary for the past seven years. I chose to finish my engineering degree first then work in the corporate world for a few years to pay off college loans and gain experience. When it was finally time to pursue the mission field, I did a lot of research to find a suitable organization to partner with, filled out the lengthy application, completed multiple phone interviews, prepared a psychological assessment, deposited several hundred dollars, and blocked out a week on my calendar to meet with the organization at their headquarters for an orientation. By the time I arrived, I had already gotten to know my new Catholic friend and had too many doubts in my mind about Protestant Christianity to be able to commit to a partnership with the missions organization. 

During the months leading up to my orientation, I had taken a course called Perspectives on the World Christian Movement which helped me understand the history and complexity of worldwide Christianity. The course also prompted me to ponder the best direction forward regarding global missions. One aspect of missions that particularly troubled me was the vast array of divided denominations, all evangelizing in the same areas, causing seekers to question the validity of the objective Truth claims of Christianity. Imagine if you had never heard about Jesus, then you are given ten different options of Christian churches to attend. You wonder, if they are all Christian, why do they need to worship in separate buildings? The more you ask questions, you learn that all ten churches have conflicting interpretations of the Bible, and they are all so passionate about their differing perspectives that they choose to separate themselves from each other. That would probably leave you wondering, how do you know who to believe or what is right? And, if Christianity is the Truth, which one of these options of churches is most aligned with that Truth? And why would God want to bring confusion in this way? The suggestion offered by the Perspectives course, as well as the missions organization I was considering joining, is to provide the Bible in the native languages of the people group being evangelized then pray for an indigenous movement by the Holy Spirit in which a new church rises up with its own biblical interpretation and traditions. Though I have a profound appreciation for diversity in culture and traditions, and I think there is goodness and truth to be gleaned from people everywhere, it seems that this method of “Here’s a Bible, now make a church” leads to even more conflicting interpretations and divided congregations. In fact, over 40,000 denominations have formed since the Protestant Reformation 502 years ago. It seems that churches, like marriages, have a tendency to split apart and start over instead of working through conflict.

Synthesis of Truth

I noticed over time is that there are Light-bearing elements of various denominations all harmoniously existing within Catholicism. And as more people bring their gifts and understandings to the Church, I trust that Catholicism will grow into an even truer complexity of the ultimate good - like a family that has adopted children from diverse backgrounds. Catholicism has a beautiful, unifying synthesis in that way. The Catholic Church is a beautiful choir of sacramental rituals, charismatic prayer services, exorcisms, hymns, contemporary music, missionary evangelism, theological inclusivism, contemplatives, in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world brothers and sisters, clergy, laity, explicit sacredness to celibate as well as married life, and male and female preachers and leaders. And anywhere you go in the world on any day of the week, mass is being offered in a Catholic Church, the same Scripture passages are being spoken, with the same creed and the same prayers to the same God who is understood according to the same tradition. This, I believe, is the universal Church, the Church that Jesus established, which He alluded when He told Peter, “on this rock I will build my church.” 

Abundance of Life

One aspect of Catholicism that I especially appreciate is their firm position in support of life. Jesus and His Church are all about promoting abundant life (John 10:10), and that has particular implications. One aspect of this pro-life stance means we reject the notion that people should have a right to take away the life of their baby while it is in the womb. At the moment of conception, the sperm and egg unite and a unique set of DNA is created, alongside - I believe - a human soul. 

Early into my Catholic journey, I attended a March for Life in Washington, DC. I carpooled with a group of Catholic students from Ball State University who encouraged me in my journey. And I realized that a vast amount of the other marchers were also Catholic. The strong pro-life stance is a doctrine that I highly value about the Roman Catholic Church. And it’s something that I was frustrated about in United Methodism because they do not have a firm stance on the matter. 

Along with the notion of promoting life, the Catholic Church places a high value on purposeful sex, recognizing two purposes for sex: to unite a marriage and to procreate. (For more information on this topic, visit theologyofthebody.net.) Because of those values, we believe that sexual actions not oriented towards those purposes are contrary to God’s will. Thus, the Catholic Churches believes that the sacramental union is meant solely for the context of heterosexual marriage between one man and one woman. Also, for this reason, masturbation is specifically referred to as an “intrinsically and gravely disordered action” in Paragraph 2352 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Whereas, the United Methodist Book of Discipline does not even allude to masturbation. This lack of clarity and discipleship, I believe, leads people into sin. On a personal level, that has been my experience. I dealt with compulsive sexual behavior for eight years, after being told by youth leaders that the Bible was silent regarding masturbation. However, I believe God bestowed a significant grace on me when I obediently followed Him into a Catholic church in 2018 and found freedom from this sinful bondage.

This life-promoting enlightenment was further confirmation for me that Catholicism was my home.

Gift of Friendship

I’m so grateful that I was not on this journey alone. Shortly after I expressed my interest in Catholicism to my friend Lucas, he introduced me to Kristen, who has become a soul-sister for me and a lifeline on this journey. Kristen is super smart and abundantly gracious. She helped me untangle my toughest questions, as she had been thinking through the same ones for three years before she converted to Catholicism from a Lutheran background. She was a seminary student during her conversion journey as well, and she understood my thirst for answers.

During my time as a residential student at Asbury Seminary in Kentucky, I attended Mary Queen of the Holy Rosary, and I participated in their RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) inquiry group. For 10 months, I brought my questions and concerns to Jeff and Jon Terhune, the fearless, compassionate leaders of the inquiry group, and they wrestled with me through my (often tearful) struggle with Roman Catholicism.

There are numerous other meaningful friendships and interactions which also nurtured me in my journey to Catholicism, and I am grateful for all of them.

Behold Your Mother

Part of Catholicism that was more difficult for me to embrace were the beliefs surrounding Mary. Tim Staples’ book Behold Your Mother helped me come to a place of acceptance of the Marian doctrines from a logical perspective. Tim Staples is a Catholic convert from a Baptist background who has heavily researched the Marian doctrines. After reading his book, I could mentally assent to the doctrines, but I did not yet feel in my heart the urge to jump into Mary’s lap and call her “Mommy.” 

My close connection with Mary didn’t come until a powerful encounter that I had just a few weeks before I joined the Church this Easter. My dad died suddenly this past fall, and I was processing a wave of grief on the six month anniversary of his passing. I took some time to myself to cry and seek the Lord. I prayed silently to God then prayed the Lord’s Prayer. That gave me some comfort, then I felt God telling me that I needed to be mothered. At that moment, I felt the presence of Mary with me, and I had a strong desire to pray the rosary for the first time. I grabbed the rosary beads from my night stand, and as I prayed, I became quite emotional as I felt united with Mary in a profound way. She taught me deep insights that spoke to my soul. I realized that Mary grieved more than any human to ever live, after her son Jesus was killed. If anyone could empathize with my deep sense of loss, it was Mary. I felt so close to her in my grief, and I knew I was not alone in my sorrow.

Purgatory

Before my journey with Catholicism, I thought the doctrine of purgatory was unbiblical rubbish. However, after a bit of research, it made much more sense to me. And I was able to comprehend purgatory even more after my dad died.

My seminary taught John Wesley’s perspective, which says that if a person dies in a state of sin without being entirely sanctified, they most likely go directly to hell.

My Baptist college taught “once saved, always saved,” so if a person sincerely repented and believed at some point in their life, their life will either produce the fruit of that or else they must have never been “saved” to begin with.

However, Catholicism, once again, made the most sense to me. You see, my dad was found dead with a crack pipe. And you know what? He LOVED God. He LOVED people. And he was my best friend. 

During my confusion and grief, a couple days after my dad’s death, God revealed to me a connection between my dad and Moses, assuring me that my dad would be in the presence of God forever. You see, Moses, who disobeyed God and was not permitted to enter the Promised Land, still went to be with God after his death. There is evidence of this because Moses was with Jesus at the Transfiguration. Moses led the Israelites to the Promised Land, though he did not enter it himself. My dad led many recovering addicts to the Promised Land of sobriety, though he did not leave this world in that state himself. Likewise, though my dad disobeyed God, resisting the grace available to liberate him from the chains of addiction, I have a firm hope that he is now with the Lord in heaven. 

The Catholic doctrine of purgatory explains how this can be so. If a believer dies prior to becoming a sinless saint, they must be cleansed of sin, in a process called purgatory, before entering the presence of God (because sin cannot comingle with perfect holiness). Granted, life after death is a bit of a mystery to all of us, even those of us with the Bible and Catechism at our fingertips. But this makes the most sense to me.

Defending the Faith

Last summer, I attended the Defending the Faith Conference at Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio. Though I left with about as many questions as I came with, I was grateful for the enlightenment along the way. I heard from thought-provoking apologists such as Trent Horn (and subsequently read his book The Case for Catholicism, which I highly recommend), Scott Hahn (converted Presbyterian seminary professor and author of numerous books including his keynote speech topic: The Fourth Cup). If you’re on the fence about Catholicism, want to learn more, or if you’re Catholic and want to have a deeper understanding of the faith, I highly recommend the Defending the Faith Conference.

During the past year and a half, while I’ve been on this journey with Catholicism, I have painfully felt the divisions in the Body of Christ, especially between Protestants and Catholics. God has burdened my heart with a passion to cultivate peace. I am learning that true unity is not merely an empathetic toleration of the “other.” That’s a starting point. But we achieve true unity only after leaning into conflict, embracing difficult conversations, compassionately expressing and listening, until we arrive at the same Truth. Jesus prayed that we may be perfectly one as He is One with the Father (John 17:22). The kind of unity that Jesus has with the Father is our goal for Christian unity (and world peace in general). That kind of unity means that we communicate, we work together, we unconditionally love one another, and we encourage each other in the Truth. Uniting on that Truth is a paramount aspect of peacemaking. We need to ramp up our empathetic communication skills in order to have those difficult conversations successfully because there are heightened emotions tied to our beliefs. I am excited to see how God uses this vision and passion for unity as I follow the call to be a peacemaker.

Attending a Methodist Seminary has offered me various opportunities to exercise peacemaking, especially in my interactions with a respected professor who left Roman Catholicism as a young man. In his journey back to the Christian faith, he entered through the doors of United Methodism after reading sermons from John Wesley. I took three classes with him at Asbury (Theology of John Wesley, Church History, and Reformation). After reading his interpretation of Roman Catholicism in his book Roman But Not Catholic, I also met with him several times outside of class for passionate debates, always ending our time together in prayer for each other and for the Body of Christ. I hope that mutually respectful discussions focused on discerning truth come to characterize Christianity, as I believe that is pivotal on this pathway to peace.

Plant-based faith

Another passion of mine is veganism. When I began my journey to the Catholic Church, I had already been vegan two years, eating only plants. Then, halfway through my journey to becoming Catholic, I began working for a Christian vegan organization, and I grew more in my compassion for animals and my awareness of the ongoing atrocities in animal farming. Over time, as my vegan lifestyle has become more and more motivated by ethical reasons regarding our care and treatment of animals, I began to wonder why the Church was not more actively engaged in animal rights advocacy. In contrast, most Catholics I know are quite animal-heavy in their diet, even considering fish meals on Lenten Fridays as a fast from animal meat. I wondered what the official teachings of the Catholic Church had to say on the matter, from a doctrinal perspective. Searching through the Catechism, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Church has teachings that correspond with this burden on my heart. Paragraph 2418 of the Catechism states, “It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly.” 

So, the Catechism directs against consuming animals and animal products if we do not NEED to do so. And science continues to confirm that eating animal meat, dairy, and eggs is, in fact, unnecessary – not to mention harmful to the health of our bodies as well as the planet. 

Realizing that the Catholic teachings actually support the vegan lifestyle has encouraged me more in my faith. I recognize that the Church is continuously undergoing reform, as we all are in our lives, as the Holy Spirit sanctifies us. I believe that promoting the welfare of animals is yet another way that the Church can live out our pro-life identity, bringing an end to the harm and unnecessary killing of the creatures God gave us to care for. The implications from the Catechism seem quite clear to me, and I pray that it is just a matter of (short) time before the Church realigns with God’s plant-based vision for us from the beginning when He said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food” (Genesis 1:29). When we pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven,” we are praying for death to come to an end, including the death of animals. Thus, I choose to promote the welfare of all of God’s creatures, and I feel supported by the Church in this endeavor.

Eat my flesh

The flesh I do consume these days, however, is that of our Lord in the Eucharist (literally, “Thanksgiving”). And MAN OH MAN I am so thankful. It fills me with so much joy; I cannot explain it. There is nothing like it. The Sacraments have been tremendous gifts to me. After over a year waiting to be Confirmed and receive my First Communion, He did not disappoint. And the Eucharist has brought me even more joy and life since then. I can only hope the Sacrament of Marriage has a sliver of the amount of satisfaction I get from the Eucharist if I get married someday. Confession is a powerful Sacrament as well, and I am grateful for how it has deepened my vulnerability with the Lord. But I imagine that my favorite Sacrament will always be the Eucharist. You are what you eat, they say. May we become like Jesus as He literally lives in us and our cells become Him. 

Miraculous journey

These are just a few snippets of the miraculous journey that has led me to the Catholic Church. This journey is a continuation as well as a beginning. The Lord has been at work in me all of my life (and yours too, I trust). Joining the Church has been a tremendous blessing, and I hope to never take His abundant grace for granted. This has been a long time in the making – though, in another sense, I know this is just the start of my journey. I have an exciting adventure towards holiness ahead of me! The Church is on its own journey as well, a Bride preparing for her Groom. I look forward to the day when the Body of Christ is unified and our relationship with God's Creation is restored to an even more glorious version than pre-Fall Genesis depicted. In the meantime, I will pursue knowing His heart more deeply, and I will invite others to join me in the journey. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are His, now and forever.